%I'M ME. LIVE WITH IT.

Give & Take

Monday, August 4, 2008

Today I figured out what my limitations for anger were.

All it took was 3 big factors.

.. The chemical imbalanced cause an unstable reaction that cause it to explode.

My feet hurts from stamping on the ground,

and my knuckles heart from punching the walls.

My palms hurt from crunching my fist to hard,

and my face hurts from forcing a fake facial expression.

My heart hurts from all this anger.

Everything can be made right,

all it takes is time,

things will get better,

understandings will be bridged.

..It just takes a miracle.

Lucky for me, there were people restraining me.

Whom i have warned to keep guard on me.

Never in my life had i been so angered and frustrated.

Never in my life have the strings snapped so suddenly.

Never in my life has something like this happen.

..And than,

a gift was presented,

as a token of friendship.

Today's friendship day,

does anyone know?

Friendship, something that is forged throughout the years.

Something which allows you to relate you to another.

A little thing, which allows you to count on someone,

to trust someone.

Can we be friends again?

It would be great if everyone just set their difference aside,

and see what the good in everyone actually is.

After the gift,

followed reflections,

staring out into the night sky,

the moon not in sight,

with only 3 stars filling the black empty sky.

Life, love, luck, hopes, dreams.

The night was calm,

the winds were gentle,

the whispers were silent

and all was still.

The feeling of relax, the action of relaxing,

is something, that has not been with me for a very long time.

although it was short,

and oh how i wished it would last longer.

Sadly disappointed,

it had to end.

"Sometimes in life you have to give,

rather than take."

Havn't I given? I'm sure i did, but than maybe i didn't?

Maybe i've been selfishly taking again and again and again.

Yes? No?

I offered a seat to a mom and two children in the sentosa tram.

They just said "oh", and took a seat.

Was it right for me to expect a "thank you" ?

I sat in the MRT train today,

though this woman placed her groceries on the seat

and i only had 1/10 of the seat to seat on.

was it right for me to reason with myself that she was just,

"inconsiderate because she's old?"

Why didn't i just seat back and squish it?

It was just her being selfish after all..

I offered my drink to people,

yet they return me with sarcastic remarks.

I play along, and show a happy face.

Am i in the wrong, not to speak up for myself?

Am i in the wrong .. to give in?

I gave in already.

Yet i am not accepted.

Though i don't feel that i did anything wrong,

i gave leeway,

but i am returned with havoc which has caused me grieve,

and has added in fuel to my anger.

Am i in the wrong to have given leeway?

Was i right, to give in to the other party,

instead of standing my own ground.

Was i in the wrong?

was i doing the right thing?

Leaving everything to my own judgement.

The best answer would be that i do not know.

There are simply too many instances,

where there can not be a right or wrong.

or maybe one point overpowering the other,

by a mere 0.000000000001 percentage.

It's just too difficult.

What a day, today was.

I shall end it on a happy note,

tomorrow,

will be a better day.

Lots of love,

May god bless you,

Joel.

There's a reason why the 3 big factors are empty.

It's because i was the one that made myself angry.

My perspective of seeing thing, the way i saw the situation, angered myself.

Didn't it not?

complicated, things are.

even this line above is.

two different intepretations

1. things are complicated

2.complicated are things

Isn't it beautiful?

This is Me. 12:08 AM