Joel Jonas Tan Ngee.

You may contact me:

jo99xpro@hotmail.com


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Monday, February 25, 2008

Well, this is my 50th post, but i doubt it's a good one a nice one or whatevere grand one.

Why is chinese the problem here. Since when? Like since forever lol. I don't remember having problems with chinese in primary school. Why is it the problem now? When i argue with other people in English i am so confident that i will win and if there's any questions asked i'll be sure to answer. It's completely different of that in chinese. I lose all confidence when speaking in chinese. Afraid of people poking fun at it. I know i have lost the arguement before i even start if i speak chinese to another person. Speaking is a the problem, yet alone writing and doing tests.

Now, i do not feel worried before chinese tests. It's like, "oh, test arh, ok lorh" . And i just do it, hoping that i will pass. I don't remember it being like that. I have forgotten that feeling of being worried for chinese tests already, ghee, what happened? It has been three years already, and three years ago, i would aim to get an A for my chinese. Though it's of different standard, i still managed to get an A for PSLE and merit for higher chinese. Now that i have dropped my higher chinese, can i drop my express chinese? Am i even a chinese if i cant speak my own mother tongue well enough?

I doubt anyone will understand that i know the importance of It. I want to do better in it. Yet, inside, i feel as though i've given up beyond my will already.

Ghee, i might as well go be an englishman.

-Soul-